Category: Things Nobody Tells You About

The Futility of Work

When you step back and look at society, it becomes obvious that we’re on the wrong track. We’ve accomplished great things with scientific progress and new technologies, making our lives slightly more easy, and we’ve even relieved a large number of people from suffering, but at the same time we are working our asses off, more than ever, only to make a few rich people all the more richer.

I feel we could do a lot better.

We have a schooling system which generally puts our children into a grading structure from the very beginning. We let our children work hard to prepare them to become a useful part of the economic machine. We want them to be happy, and strangely enough we believe they can only achieve that if they succeed financially, and to do this they need to learn as much marketable skills as possible. So we force our children to go from kindergarten to graduate school to college, to get those grades, to get more skills. We push them into learning programs that put a focus on marketability, so when they finish school they can become engineers or computer programmers or sales persons.

The result of all of the above, is that we are now a nation of slave laborers who are persuaded that the way to success can only be achieved by working hard in some bullshit job. We keep on laboring away, convinced that this will, eventually, make us happier. Only later in life we become conscious that everything we’ve been told was a lie and that we are living in a meaningless dystopia.

It is for instance a painful paradox that the older we become, the more money we usually have, but we also have increasingly less time to enjoy the freedom we can buy with that money. That’s pretty bizarre, since the purpose of earning money should be to do things that make us happy, like playing, doing nothing, hanging out with friends, experimenting, creating, and doing stuff that makes our life more meaningful.

Instead we join the rat race, often doing things that we hate to do. Work has become a mix of the job itself, the emotional benefit of accumulating money, the hunger for status, and the ability to afford a wealthier lifestyle than our neighbors. There’s a forceful idea that gets fixed in our minds. We believe that our ultimate goal is getting closer every day, this fabulous thing we are working so hard for, the ‘success’ that will give us freedom.

This goal can – of course – never be achieved. That is why many people in the west spend their entire working lives doing tasks they believe to be unnecessary or plain nonsensical, but they keep doing it anyway. The obsession of our leaders with maximizing economic growth, with keeping control over us by making us increasingly work harder, is a subtle form of slavery. It causes serious psychological distress which damages our personality in a far worse sense than we realize.

As we grow older, we have so much responsibilities and stuff going on, that we don’t have time left to engage in new, meaningful relationships, anymore. People start expecting us to behave very much like they do. They want us to be efficient and productive. The times of youthful exploration, of being delightfully immature, have faded away, and we’ve inevitably grown into the responsible adults our parents always wanted us to be.

Unfortunately being an adult seems to mean to be more effective and practical, to be hard-working, to be responsible and to act important. Let me ask you this. Who wants to be practical and efficient, hard-working, when they can have adventure and passion in their life?

People are essentially playful. To suppress this desire to play is unnatural, but we all do it, and in this sense we all bear responsibility in sustaining this senseless work culture, which contributes nothing beneficial to society, and which was only designed to push us into submission.

We gradually have reduced our leisure time to less than half of our waking hours during any given working day. We have sacrificed this free time to the sacred duty of being employed. We work to get higher up that ladder that corporations have installed for us, to keep us working more effectively and productively. We could be doing constructive and rewarding things, things that we perhaps dreamed of when we were young, but we go for mindless work, as we are told that this will be favorable to us and work is the only normal and honorable way to achieve anything worthwhile.

So… We worship our job, create a family, and get in the habit of doing more, to have more, so that (at least, this is what we believe) we’ll be more. This is of course a misconception. In fact, we get so caught up in earning money, in running by a to-do list, in boundless paperwork, that our perception of what is important gets totally distorted, and we forget our creative nature and our desire to play, while being driven to use extreme time management to get everything done.

As the so-called opportunities grow in our lives, we go faster and faster. We become workaholics, constantly moving forward, but we are not going anywhere. We are just treading water, trying to keep our head above it.

Social dynamics encourage a productivity that goes far beyond the amount of work we actually need to do, in order to feed ourselves, and have a roof to live under. We are encouraged to work for the bigger house, the fancier car, the nicer clothes, the cooler technological gadgets, etc, etc. Everybody knows this, but nobody talks about it. We all just go along with it, like mindless working stiffs, living to work, instead of working to live.

Deep down we know that being unproductive is vital to us and that efficiency and productivity is for robots, not for humans. When humans have time to reflect, to stand still and look around, we get to know ourselves a lot better. When we don’t worry about work, areas connected with introspection, creativity, and abstract thought flare up. We are able to seek a more stimulating scene with people who strengthen rather than weaken our character. In that sense, a fixed circle of friends (which is what most of us try to sustain) has some disadvantages. When your friends put work before anything else, they tend to infect you. If you are surrounded by workaholics, chances are that you are one too, or fast on your way to become one.

But where does this reflex of ours, to join the working community, come from? It’s because we’ve been continuously indoctrinated into believing that we have an obligation to contribute and to add our skills and effort to the improvement of society. The cultural norm has always been that, if you can work, you should work, even if there is no meaningful employment available.

Still, when I was a child, technological progress was said to result in us working less, with machines doing the work for us, and this is what actually would’ve happened, if capitalist thinking wouldn’t have gotten in the way.

So what the hell happened?

In the late sixties, the fear was increasing about a future society consisting largely of uncontrollable bohemians with too much time on their hands. The establishment decided to take action to prevent this, as they believed that more free time would undeniably result in more crime and degeneracy. So, we are now working harder than ever, more focused on the job at hand, wasting our talents in stupid careers that only generate more money.

We’ve shifted from a technology driven world, that would create a better future for everyone, to a venture capital system that amplifies labor discipline and social control. The control they have over us is so immense that we aren’t even aware of it, anymore.

To work, just for the sake of working, is humanity’s biggest, most tragic mistake, and still this is what we keep on doing. There is so much time, intelligence, and human happiness squandered, but even if we admit to it, we refuse to accept that this system isn’t sustainable.

We should ask ourselves if we would still be doing our job, if we didn’t need the money. If the answer is no, we are wasting our valuable time.

DLK

© 2018 – David Lee Kollberg

Some People are just Too Damn Ugly

They are. And I don’t mean that in a metaphorical way. They plainly are just too ugly to watch. You could damage your eyes looking at them. Let alone that you want to touch them.

If they accidentally brush your bare arm, your first reaction will be to rub that horrible, undesirable contact right off. You behave like they are covered in Liquid Ass, or something, as if the stench of an ugly person will follow you wherever you go.

They cannot help it, of course, and we should abide them with all the kindness of our hearts, but we don’t, as we find it simply too challenging to actually like ugly people. We admire beauty. As shallow as it may seem, we think beauty is a character attribute, just as we secretly think ugliness is a flaw in the personality of people.

But ugly people are just as prejudiced. Most of them think of themselves as being nice-looking, or at least more beautiful than the average person. We all think we are on or above average with regards to almost everything. We see ourselves as more clever than others, more attractive, more stylish, we have better taste, more friends, a better career…

Of course this is bullshit. Since there is an ‘average’, most of us are below it, and it’s the extremely beautiful and the greatly intelligent that are instituting the higher average, that we all dream to be on or rather above of.

So, we worship beautiful people. It’s hardwired into us that being good-looking is the most important part of our identity. People might say that looks don’t matter, but in the real world good looks define how we assess people.

We think beautiful people are more clever, more talented, more trustworthy, albeit that statistics tell us they actually are not more honorable or reliable. In fact, most people are beautiful on the outside, but not on the inside. It’s like something chemically changed their brain, causing them to be arrogant and narcissistic. But that doesn’t stop us from being fond of them and having faith in them. Gorgeous people can literally get away with anything, just because they are dazzling to the eye.

As much as we love beautiful people, we hate ugly people more. It is a society structure. From the time when we are children we are explained that we should see ‘beautiful thin people’ as our role models. Ugly people, on the other hand, are habitually portrayed as embarrassing to us, and so we learn that they are better to be avoided.

Although magazines, movies, and commercials present a flashing image of what we should look like, the simple fact is that most of us don’t. That is why we seek for aesthetically pleasing partners, even if they are rotten to the core. We like feeling superior to others, and the less we have to do in order to feel superior, the better we feel.

If we surround ourselves with beautiful people, we feel like we become more beautiful ourselves, thus adding the impression of beauty to our own persona, and – as a result – the more empowered we appear and the more confident we will go through life.

That’s why unattractive people are being ignored. That is why celebrities, actors, performers are not only evaluated by what they accomplish but are mainly idolized by how they look. This is how society operates, and when we don’t comply to this ‘beauty rule’, no matter how beautiful we are ourselves, we will also be seen as ugly, or at least as stupid.

For the most part there is no problem with being beautiful or with admiring beauty. Still, saying that someone is the most beautiful person may be a compliment, but with all the perfectionistic body and facial type definitions in modern society, these compliments can cause self-loathing in people who do not have those perfect features.

The more we develop our personality and accept who we are as people, and the less we depend on our physical appearance, the more authentic we will become. It is evident that it is not just external beauty what makes someone beautiful. To be good-looking might be enjoyable, but it doesn’t show a lot when you’re not a kind person. If we could expand our view on beauty a little, and concentrated more on our inner features, we would be able to call someone attractive for things that actually matter, and for something that doesn’t have an expiration date.

DLK

© 2017 – David Lee Kollberg

The Illusion of Human Empathy

It is – to me – a mysterious thing, how much energy we allocate on forgetting the things we need to stop thinking about, just to be able to go on living.

You did many things today. Brushed your teeth. Maybe said hi to a neighbor. Had a ham and cheese sandwich for lunch. Flipped off the light at night… Tomorrow, you’ll remember almost none of what you did or of what has happened to you. These memory bytes of trivial things are only meant to last just long enough to be useful for what we are doing at a specific time. They are not stored for longer than a few minutes.

The way our long term memory operates is slightly more bizarre. We store certain chunks of data, like pictures, feelings, tastes, sounds,… of an event, but we do it in a very subjective way. That is why a smell, a sound, a song, … anything can bring us back to a place and time we’d ‘forgotten’ about for many years. Suddenly very clear images come rushing back to the surface, as if they had been hiding for us. Simultaneously other people who were present in the same moment remember nothing when they get a whiff of the same smell, or hear the same song. That is because our personalities and life experiences let us interpret the memory in our own way, like a sequence of emotional construction blocks, and this is how they become imaginary truths.

It hurts, doesn’t it? How certain ancient memories tend to come back unsolicited as a freight train in your mind. You break out in a sweat. Your heart starts pounding in your throat. You feel like you’re going to faint. You can barely manage to handle the embarrassing thoughts that rush through your mind, when an upsetting subconscious memory hits you out of the blue.

Of course, the idea that we can remember something clearly out of our childhood is a bit irrational to begin with. The instant something significant happens to us, we immediately develop a narrative  of that defining moment. By retelling the memory to ourselves, the story gradually becomes different from what actually happened. Still, at the same time it grows to be more vivid in our head, and so it is the stories that we tell ourselves, and others, not the real series of events, that end up forming the memory. It goes without saying that this is not always a good thing.

My brother and I were talking about an event from our childhood the other day, and we ended up arguing over the different elements of the story. Our view on what had happened was to a certain degree the same, but we couldn’t agree on the details. Even when we both had been there, we had a largely different context in mind. We obviously had not the same recollections of the event. Even so, my brother and I were convinced that how we had perceived it was how it truly happened. To me it was clear that I was more sensitive to what had happened than my brother was. To me it was evident that my brother was oblivious to the many unsettling aspects of the memory. To him it was an event like any other. To me that moment had somewhat outlined the rest of my life.

Our memory is an entangled group of connections that we’ve linked to each other by details that we associate with specific events, ideas and emotions. Instead of just trying to remember one event, we make the experience into a story, which makes it easier to remember, but also prone to be modified along the way. How you construct that specific story of a particular memory will be totally different than how anyone else would write it. Imagine how we, as human beings, never will be able to grasp how somebody else is feeling, when you count the thousands of little memories that you might have shared with them, but perceive totally different.

Yes, the conclusion is that we are alone. Nobody gets us. Friendship and love are illusions that help us get through the day. Any affinity between people is based on our deception of what reality is, of how things are, as everybody has their own special awareness of every single thing that is being said and is being done. We could be engaging in a sincere conversation, and all participants will have a tendency to interpret what is being said in another way. As we spend more time with people, we think we are getting to know them and they are getting to know us, but what actually happens is that we get used to the other’s insanity.

Because, if we could read each other’s minds, we would deem everybody to be crazy. That’s why we should see it as a blessing to not become conscious how another person is thinking, how he or she is seeing things.

We would run away from virtually everybody, if we would catch just a glimpse of their fundamental madness.

DLK

© 2017 – David Lee Kollberg