Category: Rants

To Be or Not To Be a Cynic

People sometimes ask me why I am such a cynic.

Yeah… Why is that, I wonder… It’s not as if the human race has done anything to make me hold a low opinion of it…

Okay, maybe I have never seen things in rose-colored glasses, and I might have had a dark view on human nature and the future of mankind since I was seven, but that doesn’t necessarily make me cynical. It just means that I like to look at things as they really are. And they are awful, believe it or not. They are sickening beyond belief.


When you are intoxicated with overly optimistic expectations, a cynic can help you. When you think the world is a wonderful place, let us fix your mind, so you can open up to what is really going on. In short: we can help you opening your eyes so you’ll see what is truly there.

Your naivety and tenderheartedness is unpleasant, to say the least. Of course you think you are like a necessary counterweight against cynicism, but in fact you are just being silly. That is why we as cynics are always struggling to get our point across. Even if we are the voice of reason, we will commonly be dismissed, and our advice will often be ignored.

You yourself will probably refuse to take in what you are reading here, but that’s only normal. Given a persistent culture which continuously reinforces the “all is fine” propaganda, it would be strange if you didn’t trust that everything will be alright, in the end.

So, being positive is the more comfortable way to go. Nevertheless, this post is an honest effort to try to reach your warm, stupid and senseless heart and turn it into the cold stone that it ought to be. Let us try to achieve that, will we?

First of all it is elemental to take in that most human behavior is motivated entirely by self-interest, and that the greater part of the worlds suffering is human-caused. Man is in essence egotistical. Even in what seem to be acts of philanthropy, people only choose to help out others because of what they expect or hope to get in return.

Second: everybody lies. They lie to themselves and they lie to others. Their life is a lie, because that is what makes it bearable. If people would see their life as it is, they would jump of a bridge first chance they’d got.

Third: you are not better than anybody else. In fact, since you are reading this blog, chances are you are more untrustworthy than others and your moral code probably sucks. Only a dishonorable mind would be so easily enticed to visit a website called “The Secret Life of Everybody”. Ask yourself what you’re doing here, and admit to yourself just what a sleazeball you truly are.

If you can fundamentally empathize with the above three principles, you might be eligible to be (or to become) a cynic.

Just a warning, though. Being a cynic is quite a responsibility. You must cast away all nonsense and only allow reality to enter your mind. Again, the truth is out there, but it is seldom applied. That is why opinions of cynics have a negative connotation.

For example. To a cynic, the best thing that could happen to this planet is human extinction. If we all just would stop breeding, the world would be a much better place. There are those who believe that this is an adverse view, but I believe cynics are merely sensitive to what’s truly going on in the world, and since humanity’s competitive selfishness and aggression against nature has nearly destroyed the world, we cynics consider it to be better to wipe out humankind entirely, to salvage what’s left of the planet.

We love to speak our mind, without care or concern for social niceties. It is wonderful to be impulsive and to not overthink everything. Of course, we hurt people this way, but we feel a bit sorry for folks who never enjoy the profuse freedom that cynicism awakens. Just because positivists want to seem nice they put political correctness before anything else. It’s such an old-fashioned worldview, but we are here to defuse that attitude.

Now, to make sure you fully understand, it will be quite hard to be a cynic. Sure, the truth will set you free, but it won’t necessarily make you happy. Most cynics are too authentic to find happiness. We don’t care about people’s sensibilities as we do not want to live in a world of illusions and lies, and so, as an inevitable consequence, we are absurdly disliked. Being honest will hurt people’s feelings, but we think it’s better to hurt someone than to be a fucking liar, all the time. Once you’ve told the truth, you’ll find that everything else is like cheap whisky.

You might say that what I am telling you is a very bleak view on society, but if you were able to look through our eyes for only a day, you’d see what we’re talking about, and you’d feel just the same as us about the cruelty and barbarism that is lurking in human nature.

If you too like sincerity and prefer an authentic life, if you refuse to live in lala land, you should try to discover the cynic in you. If you find him or her, come and join us.


© 2018 – David Lee Kollberg

Why Don’t You Smile More?

I don’t smile. My face doesn’t fall into a natural cheerful position all the time. Wait. Let me rephrase that. I do smile, on occasion, but it is not my standard look.

Some people walk around with a tight serial killer smile plastered on their face, throughout every social encounter of the day. Not me. I hate how people smile all the time. It doesn’t matter if they dislike the situation they are in or how much they hate the people they meet, they keep on smiling.

The need to constantly act as if everything is fine, to pretend as if you love the whole shebang of all what’s going on in your life, only shows how you are completely incapable of interacting with people in a sincere and natural way. You hide behind your smile, but the truth is that it is not a good hiding place.

Science tells us that smiling can make people think you’re unintelligent. Of course that kind of data cannot be read from your smile directly, but either way our subconscious convinces us that smiling people aren’t “very smart”. In other words, you come across as stupid when you smile.

Give me a smile!

I can’t stand people who smile all the time. The ever-present smile annoys me, because it takes away the power of a person’s genuine smile. When someone smiles while riding the bus, or walking the isle of a grocery store, or taking a morning dump with a stupid grin on their face, they annoy the shit out of me.

And please don’t tell me how maybe these people are just generally happy and they might have very good reasons to be smiling all the time. That’s bullshit. No one’s life is that fantastic.

I despise these brainless grinning people. What’s more, I could never take someone seriously who doesn’t give the impression they’ve gone through some kind of emotional pain. If you smile all the time, you might as well be dead to me.

I’m quite happy to have an RBF. My RBF – Resting Bitch Face – is a fixed facial expression which makes me seem to be angry, pissed off, irritated or disapproving of someone. This chronic zoned out face of mine suggests that I’m in a constant state of bitchiness and that I’m uninterested, depressed or angry. That is in part because I am uninterested, of course, but I’m also quite a happy guy. I just don’t walk around smiling all the time.

Whether I’m mad, ecstatic, depressed or excited, to the naked eye my facial expression will be very similar. People feel criticized and humiliated by my contemptuous face, but that isn’t a negative thing to me. When they look into my condescending eyes, it creates a feeling of insecurity in them. I like to be able to do that to people. It’s like having a superpower, or something.

My RBF helps me living my life the way I want to. Most people will go out of their way to avoid me or to prevent starting a conversation with me. Since I’m kind of misanthropic, this suits me very well.

It’s also never a problem for me to be taken seriously. People hear what I have to say, they see my RBF that goes along with it, and they know I am being very serious.

Being a non-smiler gives the impression of being more confident and not to be messed with. That is why my chances to get what I want increase remarkably.

I am convinced that the advantages of an RBF outweigh the disadvantages. Most people feel bad about their RBF, but I don’t. I embrace my bitchy face.

Now, I believe that there are many things going on in the world today to have an RBF about, but such seemingly RBF-provoking affairs are not the actual cause of an RBF. The main thing to be aware of, is that my RBF doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m truly annoyed, angry or constipated. I could be, but it isn’t necessarily the case.

It can be frustrating to live with an RBF when you get a sudden urge to socialize or when you meet new people. People’s brains are fixed on studying other people’s faces for emotional signals, and so even the smallest inconsistencies in my facial expression can give them the wrong idea about me.

Other people don’t see me as angry but assume that I’m unhappy all the time. They tell me that life’s basically fucked up for everyone and that there is no need to make it worse by acting as if I’m in a constant state of existential crisis.

‘Why don’t you smile more?’ they ask. They argue that we are all in the same shitty boat, and we can decide to be happy, or choose to be gloomy. They mean well, but it is quite silly to think that I’m miserable, as my RBF is an involuntary condition. I can’t help it to look like this, albeit that it makes my life a lot easier.

Some would perhaps argue that the term RBF is misogynistic, because of the ‘bitch’ aspect, but I disagree. I have discovered that as many men as women ‘suffer’ from it, and so it is mostly gender neutral. Albeit that older women seem to be a bit more affected by the syndrome than other people.

Come to think of it, I would argue that, in the case of supposed RBF in older women, they generally ARE embittered and angry, and so they give us – real RBF owners – a bad reputation.


© 2017 – David Lee Kollberg

The Joy of Being Unimportant

“You cannot overestimate the unimportance of practically everything.” – John C. Maxwell

We’re raised believing that we’re special, but maybe it would humble us to consciously consider our unimportance in the universe. We’re really not the center of the world, even if our girl- or boyfriend tells us so, or our gigantic paycheck – and all the fabulous things that we own – might make us believe that we are.

The barrenness that surrounds us is enormous. We’re basically nothing but ancient stardust, residing on a tiny globe, orbiting a blazing ball of burning gas in the middle of an infinite sea of cosmological decay. Nobody knows what we are doing here, but it must be important, as we deem ourselves to be important. That’s why we always wonder about the meaning of life, while deep down we know that there isn’t any.

Recognizing our unimportance sets us free from the commands of the egocentric voice in our head that’s essentially causing many of the problems in our lives. This voice nurtures the idea that we are entitled to and deserve anything that we want. The only thing we have, however, is the opportunity to be alive in this specific nanosecond. The previous nanosecond is gone, the next nanosecond isn’t certain, and the end is always near. So, we can strive for what we want, but it can be taken away or lost at any moment, as that is how the universe goes about.

You will die. I hope this isn’t news to you. Before you start worrying about what you might think on your deathbed, whether you will be happy with the choices you’ve made, think about the thousands of days before that day. They are the ones you should be worrying about, as they possibly will be just as insignificant as your dying day, and that also doesn’t matter, as nothing you can do or think really matters much.

To fully be alive, we have to accept a degree of inferiority towards something greater. Confidence of how meaningless we are can be rewarded by true happiness. If you cannot live with the idea that this is nothing and your life means nothing and anything you ever do will be nothing, you will not be able to live a brave life. Wanting to be relevant induces in your mind a panic that robs you from the great joys in life.

Because you can find liberation in all this, if you truly want to. You don’t have to strive for fame. You don’t have to become wealthy, be self-sacrificing, be a decent person, even. You don’t have to worry about anything, because what is it all going to lead to? Nothing at all.

So, live a little and accept your nothingness. There are very few things in life that merit your interest, just as you don’t especially deserve any interest yourself.

Just be.

It’s a little conceptual shift you need to come up with, to make everything that happens to you more bearable. And if you’re lucky, you might even enjoy parts of it. Because when all is said and done, the things you stress about, your day to day decisions that seem to be essential, won’t make the slightest difference.

Admitting that you are nothing, that your life means nothing, will make you able to endure that your future is reliably pointless. Best case scenario is that it is going to be okay. So you may as well take it a step further, and stop chasing your hopes and dreams. Instead you should maybe just try to accept whatever comes next. Our lives are composed out of ‘whatever comes next’. You can try to control it, but you’ll fail miserably. As a great philosopher once said: whatever will be, will be.

The universe isn’t concerned with our fabricated sense of importance. Sooner or later, there will be a discrepancy between the story we are living, and the harsh reality that takes place. You might have seen it coming and be not surprised by it, or you may well experience a mental breakdown, of which you could never recover.

Alternatively, when you realize you are insignificant, you don’t have to pretend that the group you belong to is anything else than a figment of your imagination, that the prestige you have attained is making you more important than billions of others (and then I am only counting the living creatures on this little planet we call home).

Wouldn’t it be better for you to expect that day of wisdom to come, so that you can free yourself from the societal burdens of life right now? Wouldn’t it be fantastic to have no regret for what has passed, and to not worry about what is coming?

Just imagine that you could stop being anxious about death, about the life you are living before you die. Understand that your illustrious legacy, containing all the good things you’ve done, is something that only exists in your mind, while you are alive. When we die, we cannot confirm our actions, good or bad, anymore. We will not be able to think about our legacy and be proud of what we’ve done, as being dead is experiencing nothing, and being aware of nothing.

Also, the people you care about? They are of no importance. No one actually matters, and what they think of you, whether you are alive or death, doesn’t matter either. This is the bitter truth that few of us are able to take in, but it remains true, nevertheless.

Don’t take life so seriously. When you die, it is game over. All you can do is have fun while playing. In the end, not a single person will care about what you did in your life and the great legacy you worked so hard for, and that you have left behind, will be totally meaningless.

Like the great stand-up comedian Bill Hicks used to say: “The world is like a ride in an amusement park, and when you choose to go on it you think it’s real, because that’s how powerful our minds are. The ride goes up and down, around and around, it has thrills and chills, and it’s very brightly colored, and it’s very loud, and it’s fun for a while. Many people have been on the ride a long time, and they begin to wonder, “Hey, is this real, or is this just a ride?” Other people have remembered, and they come to us and say, “Hey, don’t worry; don’t be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride.” And we … kill those people. “Shut him up! I’ve got a lot invested in this ride, shut him up! Look at my furrows of worry, look at my big bank account, and my family. This has to be real…” It’s just a ride.”


© 2017 – David Lee Kollberg

Opinions Are Like Assholes…

…everybody’s got one.

I don’t know about you, but lately too many people are giving their unsolicited – but above all totally redundant – opinion on social media. It only takes seconds to poop out a tweet, or to post a comment on Facebook, and what usually follows is some pointless debate that annoys the crap out of anybody who has an IQ over 80.

Without a shred of willingness to tell the truth, or to make sense, a bunch of assholes out of nowhere starts to discuss science, religion, politics, the rain forest, or the differences between a midget and a dwarf. Of course they know nothing about the topic at hand, but this won’t hold them down, oh no mister. It will turn them into even more fanatic debaters and they truly believe we should be pleased that they are shining their magnificent light on a topic they are completely ignorant of.

For everyone to see, they pull some random stats out of their ass, thinking we will blindly accept the slightly moronic reasoning you’d normally expect coming from toddlers, just before they choke on a Lego block. If social media have learned us anything, it is that a bunch of people are willing to expose their infinite stupidity to large audiences. Some of the bigmouths on social media are SO stupid, that you feel the urge to prevent them to breed.

Ironically enough, a personal view has very little unbiased purity to begin with. Most people are so easily influenced by others, that their ‘unique opinion’ is constructed out of nothing else than cut-and-paste lines heard in previous conversations. As a result they cite blatant lies as facts and express personal beliefs as evidence. When you actually start reading these empty discussions, you can’t but conclude that the participants are all suffering from a form of advanced bigotry.

The thing is that we are lousy at being logical. For most of us the illusion of reason is enough. In the end, what we think we know, are just our versions of the truth. We all feel that the other person is being wrong, while we see ourselves as being right, and they probably think the same about us, but as long as we are reasoning, we have the illusion that we’re actually moving forward.

Except we’re not. We are standing still.

Most people never change their mind, anyway. They don’t even listen. That’s because subconsciously people focus on proof that defends views they already believe, and they disregard any evidence that opposes their views. They yell their biased opinions at each other, merely because quietness often forces contemplation, and they might come to realize that what they are arguing about doesn’t really matter. Because, of course, it DOESN’T really matter.

It is time to depolarize and to not take our views so seriously. When it comes about the truth, we are all just winging it. Arguments endlessly going back and forth will wear you out, and in the end they only fuel your anger and your nonsense. Coming to terms with that, would be a huge step forward. If we could see just how full of crap we all are, we could maybe begin to think more intentionally about ourselves, about what we have to offer, about where we are going and about what we really want in life.

Wouldn’t it be more useful to communicate the messy, magnificent reality about whatever is going on within ourselves, instead of having online fights about politics or religion? Our own life is what we are true experts in, after all.

So, let’s talk passionately about our inner feelings. Let’s talk confidently about our insecurities. Let’s make what we say truly matter by infusing every word with authenticity.

Everything else honestly makes no sense.


© 2017 – David Lee Kollberg