The Stupidity of a Lap Dance

I know there is randomness and chaos in the universe, but some things should be straightforward, no? Shouldn’t it be common sense to steer clear of unsatisfactory things like a lap dance?

Men only have so many erections in a lifetime. Why waste one on a lap dance? I mean; you can look, but you cannot touch? I mean; you can touch, but that’s it? How can that be satisfying? It seems to me that strippers are only there to get men all excited and then they send them home with a pocket rocket the size of an eggplant.

Okay, I know that people get what they get, they don’t get what they actually deserve or want, but a fucking lap dance? Really? Who deserves one of those?

I must admit that I have never understood the concept. You pay quite a lot of money for someone to dance half naked for you. To ride your horse. Through your pants. Not staying on the horse until you finish. But it should in some weird parallel universe be gratifying? I can tell you this. The only thing a man feels after a lap dance is utterly disappointed.

So. We had the degrading thing about ‘women being seen as an object’. How would you describe a man who pays good money to have him all aroused but not satisfied? Do you see how he is treated like an object? How he basically is emasculated commercially? Not to mention he is not getting the best deal? Why would anyone be happy with this agreement? Do you understand what it means to have blue balls and to have to walk around with them?

Maybe I won’t win the “feminist of the year” award with my remarks, but let’s be honest. A lap dance is something only idiots would agree to. And yes, the idiots are the men. So, good for you, women! You have dealt with the masculine exploitation in a very effectual way. These ‘lap danced men’ are being sent back onto the street completely unfulfilled, which of course makes this world a far safer place. Especially to women.


© 2017 – David Lee Kollberg

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  • Sara

    Good point. An aroused man, left in the middle of 'the game', has a hard time controlling himself, because his animal instinct takes over. Everyone knows that. But after reading this text I'm wondering; what with the women who perform the lapdances? Aren't they frustrated after a whole night rubbing themselves against horny men and their giant eggplants?

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